Journey
by aurorstar18
Summary: Ennis finally swallows his pride and pushes all of his fears aside, but will their life be everything Jack hoped it could be?
1. The End

_Author's Note: Hey guys! This is my first Brokeback Mountain fic. It's one of my favourite films and I love the short story, too. I haven't written fic of any kind for a long time, so I hope I'm not too rusty. If you like it, leave me a review, if you don't, leave me a review and tell me what I need to change. I've been reading some other BBM fics on here and they're all so lovely, I can only hope I can weave the same kind of story _

_As always, all characters, places, most everything doesn't belong to me, I'm just borrowing them for a while. _

Ennis gathered Jack up in his arms, holding him so close to his body, so close that Jack could feel Ennis's heartbeat against his back. They lay in silence, only the sound of their breathing permeating the darkness. Jack looked down at his hands which were being held be Ennis's bigger ones, his skin rough and warm.

"What are we gonna do, cowboy?" Jack murmured.

His question lingered in the air, unanswered and pressing down on Ennis.

"What do you mean?" It took the taller man a while to answer, mostly because he didn't know how, "We'll do what we always do. Why do you keep askin' me this?"

"So, we're gonna say goodbye tomorrow mornin', and I gotta go back to my wife and every time I fuck her, I'm gonna see your face, and bite my lip so hard that it bleeds just so that I don't shout your name instead of hers, and when we're done, I'm gonna have to lay there next to her and think about the next time I'm gonna get to see you?" He let go of Ennis's hands and ran one of his through his hair, "Ennis, then when I do see you, which ain't nearly enough, friend, not nearly enough, all I can do is think about when you're gonna have to leave. There ain't nothin' I hate more'n thinkin' about when I'm not gonna have you with me anymore."

"I'm sorry, Jack."

"You're always sorry."

"There ain't nothin' I can do about this." Ennis sighed, "I wish I could."

"You can." Jack felt like they were talking in circles every time they spoke like this, but he didn't have it in him to give up, he couldn't quit.

"What can I do, Jack? Fuck, I can't do a damned thing about this."

Jack stared at him. Everything was so obvious to him. It wasn't that Ennis couldn't do anything, it was that he didn't want to, "Ennis. You're gonna tell me the goddamn truth right now, Cowboy," He noted how his nickname translated from loving to angry so fluidly, "If you don't wanna be with me, you tell me right now. I'll leave, I'll find somethin' to do, I'll go back to Lurleen and be miserable for the rest of my goddamn life." Jack's voice was growing louder and louder as he spoke and he was no longer leaning against Ennis. He was leaning forward, shouting at the bed, "But if you want to be with me, Ennis Del Mar, you tell me and I'll do whatever you want me to do, because I can't imagine a life without you, but I can't do this no more."

Ennis pulled Jack back against his body but Jack struggled, throwing the other man's hands off him, elbowing his way out of his grip, "Jack!" He shouted, "Jack, please." He mumbled, "Please don't go doin' this to me, I can't do it."

"What, Ennis?"

"I can't make this decision."

"What decision is there to make?" Jack balled his fists and hit the mattress so hard that Ennis heard the springs hum, "Do you love me?"

Ennis nodded, "You know I do."

"Then there should be no choice." He twisted and stared into Ennis's eyes.

Ennis sighed, "Jack, don't do that." He tried to look away but he couldn't tear his eyes from Jack's pleading blue eyes, "I cannot do this."

"So that's how this is gonna end?" His voice was so soft and cut out at the end of his question and Ennis knew then that he was crying and tears threatened at his own eyes.

"I don't want this to end at all, Jack."

"Then don't let it, Ennis."

Ennis took a deep breath, and then let it out slowly. Temper had never been one of Ennis's strong points and it took very little for him to lose it, and he didn't want Jack to see that, but his insistence was frustrating beyond measure and all of a sudden he was so angry he could burst, "Jack, fuck. Jack, you are starting to get on my nerves. Do you think I want things to be like this? I don't _got_ no other choice. What do you want from me? You want me to come and live with you? You wanna leave your wife and live with me somewhere. We'll be killed, Jack. Someone will find out, and they'll come and kill us."

Jack let out a breath and opened his mouth to speak.

"No, Jack. Listen. I ain't never felt as happy as I feel when I'm with you. I… I don't know how to even put this to words for you, but… You're all that I ever think about, I ain't got nothin' else in my life that makes me as happy as you do, except my girls, but I ain't seen them enough since Alma and me… But Jack Twist, when I'm holdin' you in my arms, I got everything… I got me the world. But, there's somethin' inside of me that hurts when I think about us bein' together always, I can't do it, I can't put my life on the line like that but more'n that, I can't put your goddamn life on the line because if you died and I was left behind because of me, I dunno what I'd do, Jack."

Jack said nothing, just rolled over to the furthest edge of the bed, curled up and went to sleep.

In the morning, Ennis woke up and Jack was gone. There was a note on the bed where Jack had slept that said simply, _I quit._

Ennis pulled his knees up to his chest, hugged them close to his body and cried.


	2. Junior's Wisdom

Ennis rolled over in his bed and squinted against the harsh sunlight that was streaming through the window of his trailer. He couldn't reach to shut the blinds, and he didn't even know why he was awake at this time. He'd spent the last week in a drunken stupor. He woke up, he ate, he got drunk and then went to sleep, and was usually still drunk the next morning.

It was then that his mind pinpointed the reason for him being awake, a banging on the door of his trailer and a voice shouting, "Daddy?"

He leapt out of bed and struggled his way into a pair of jeans, flinging open the door while he was still zipping the zipper, "Junior?"

She barged inside, "Daddy, I was so worried about you!" She wrinkled her nose, looking around the trailer, "When did you stop cleaning?" She turned to him, "And showering?"

He shuffled his feet and shrugged, "I dunno."

She noticed the empty liquor bottles scattered around the trailer, "Daddy, are you alright?" There was genuine concern in her eyes, and even though her face was blurry through his drunken haze, he could tell she wasn't going to let him off without him at least making up a story to appease her, "Daddy?"

"Junior, I'm okay." He stumbled over his words, slurring a little more than he'd have liked, "It just gets awful lonely here, is all."

She quirked an eyebrow at him, "Is that all?"

He nodded, "'m okay."

"Is this something to do with Jack?" He hoped his expression of surprise didn't give away too much of what he was feeling. He hadn't expected her to be able to read him so easily, "Because usually'n your letters you talk about him all the dang time, but I ain't heard nothing of him for a good few weeks now, and I thought that maybe you two mighta had a fight or somethin'?"

"Yeah, we did." He replied, hoping that would be enough for her.

"Tell me about it, Dad."

"Junior, please. I don't wanna talk about it right now."

"Will you ever?"

"Probably not."

"So this is gonna stay bottled up inside'a you forever?"

He shrugged.

"I think I know what this is, Daddy."

"Oh, you do?"

She nodded, "But if I'm wrong, you're not allowed to be mad at me, okay?" Her face reminded him of when she was a little girl and he'd allowed her to do something she wasn't normally allowed to do, like steal a cookie before dinner or stay up watching football with him after Jenny had gone to bed on nights when Alma had worked. It brought back a flood of memories that tugged at his heart. He missed his old life, back before Brokeback, before Jack, when he and Alma were sweethearts and there was nothing to lose.

"I won't be mad." His heart was pounding in his chest but somewhere, deep down, he knew that no matter whether she knew, or if she never found out about the love he and Jack had shared (and his stomach twisted painfully every time he realized the past tense) that she wouldn't judge him and that she'd still be the same person, and he'd still be the same person to her that he always had been, because he'd been in love with Jack since before she'd been born.

"Promise?"

"Promise."

She took a deep breath and lowered herself down onto his bed, and he sat down in a chair and turned it to face her, "You love him." She said, "I think I've known for a long time now, probably since you and Mama split."

Ennis looked down at his bare feet and tried not to cry, "I loved him."

Junior shook her head, "You still do, Daddy. You've loved him for too long for it to just go away."

He sighed, "You don't understand, baby."

She smiled, "You ain't called me that'n years."

He reached out and took her hand, "You're my best girl, you know that, you and Jenny. You're both my life."

"I know, Daddy." She covered his big hand with her own. Ennis liked her warm skin on his, it made him feel connected to her in a way that he didn't get to be through letters. The truth was that he missed his girls terribly and sometimes he wished he'd been able to stick it out with Alma just so that he could be with them always, "But Daddy, you can't be here all alone."

"I can. I have everythin' I need here."

She shook her head again, "You don't, Daddy."

"Junior, I fucked things up with Jack. He ain't comin' back, and it's all my fault, but I can't fix it now." He looked into her eyes, almost hoping to find an answer or some comfort from the words he was about to say, "It's over."

"What's broken can always be fixed, Daddy. You used to tell me that when you mended my toys when I was a little girl, and that time that Jenny'n me knocked Mama's vase off the counter and you glued it and made it look like new before she even got home and she never realized." She paused, "You need to fix this. Me and Jenny like Jack. You can't let it be over."

"How am I meant to fix it?" He sighed heavily, "He was willing to give me everythin' and I told him I couldn't and he left before I even woke up, Junior. He left me a note sayin' he quits." He swiped at his eyes, which were welling up. The alcohol in his system seemed to make everything hurt that much more, the opposite effect than he'd hoped for.

"I don't know how you're gonna do it, but you're gonna. I know you have to." She stood, "I just came by to check in on you on the way to my friend's place in the next town, and I'm glad I did." She had reached the door, "You write to me when you've done something to fix this and not a second sooner."

He glanced up at her, bemused. He wasn't used to this Junior. She was often reserved and shy and she never spoke back to him, but she was right. He needed to fix things with Jack even if it meant surrendering his last shreds of pride to the other man, "I promise I'll try my hardest."

She nodded, "I love you, Daddy."

"I love you too, baby."

She left, the door slamming behind her and he heard her car start. As the sound grew quieter and quieter, the loneliness began to creep back over him, saturating him, weighing him down and he realized how right she was.

_Authors Note: Hope you guys are enjoying it. I'm loving writing it. It feels good to be writing something again. _


	3. Reunion

_Dear Jack,_

_I don't know what I'm going to write to you here, but I know I couldn't let your letter be the last thing that passed between us. Junior came to visit me today and make me realize what I'd done. I fucked up and I'm sorry. I know I was wrong and I know that I need you. I guess I want you to know I'm sorry, and that you're important to me._

_Whatever you want from me, it's yours. _

_Ennis._

Jack put down the piece of paper on his desk and leaned back in his chair, his heart just about pounding through his chest. He picked up the phone, dialed Ennis's number, and then put it down again. He couldn't decide how he felt. He wanted to be angry with Ennis, he wanted it to be too late, but deep in his heart he knew that it would never be too late for Ennis. He picked up the receiver again and put it back down, then stood up, taking his coat off the back of his chair, and walked down the hallway to Lureen's office checking his watch as he went. 7.30AM, perfect, "I'm gonna be gone for a while." He said, peeking around the doorframe at her, trying to appear calm enough not to make Lureen suspect anything.

"How long?" She said without even looking up from her typewriter, "'Cause you know you've got all that work that arrived on your desk last night and Bobby's got his presentation night for school comin' up and you promised you'd go."

"I'll be there."

She shrugged, "Fine."

He almost ran from the building and got into his car, his hands were shaking so much he could barely get the key into the ignition and his heart was still racing. He was finally getting everything he'd ever wanted from Ennis. The entire drive was nothing short of life threatening and he was surprised as he pulled into the trailer park that the police hadn't apprehended him for the speeds he was doing. The sun was setting; the last flares of bright orange were just disappearing from the dusky grey sky. He parked his car next to Ennis's trailer, not even sure if the other man was at home, but he got out, his boots crunching on the gravel. He leaned on his car for a minute to try and steady himself. The last thing he wanted was for Ennis to know how much his letter had affected him.

When he was ready, he made his way to the door of the trailer, took a deep breath and raised his hand to knock, a million thoughts running through his head. What if Ennis had changed his mind again? It was just the kind of thing Ennis did. He knocked and waited. With a jolt of heat in his stomach, he realized that there were scuffling noises coming from inside and he just wanted to get back in his car and speed away. It was the first time in his life he'd been nervous about seeing Ennis. He had always been the one person that comforted him just by being there, and the one person he always looked forward to seeing. Even his wife wasn't the comfort that Ennis was.

"Who is it?" Ennis called from inside. Jack didn't answer, "If you're sellin' somethin', I ain't got no money to buy it so you're probably wastin' your goddamn time." The door opened and Jack looked up at him. He was a mess, "Jack." He whispered, "What…"

"I got your letter, I couldn't just call you, I had to come." Jack shrugged, "I'm sorry if this is a bad time, I just couldn't wait."

Ennis stood staring at him, his eyes wide.

"Ennis?" Jack stared back at him, growing more and more worried, "You know what? I shoulda known this kind of shit was gonna happen. I shoulda known you'd go'n change your goddamn mind." He turned his back on Ennis and walked away, kicking up dust as he went.

Ennis shook his head and blinked a few times. Then he realized that it was Jack walking away from him again and his head began to spin, he couldn't let that happen. He took the trailers step at a leap and ran after the other man, reaching him and knocking him to the ground. Jack rolled over onto his back and Ennis crushed his lips against the other man's, pushing off his hat so that the wind caught it and it tumbled a few metres and gripping his hair so tightly that his knuckles turned white. When he pulled away after what felt like the happiest eternity he'd ever experienced, Jack's lips were red and swollen and Ennis could barely see straight. They both sat up, "I can't believe you're here."

"Believe it, Cowboy." Jack smiled, "I'm so sorry, Ennis."

Ennis couldn't help but let out a laugh, "You're sorry?" He punched Jack's shoulder lightly, "I act like I did t'wards you, and you're sorry? I'm sorry, Jack."

"Before you say anything else, I need to ask you, does this mean what I think it does?"

"What do you think it means?" Ennis could barely tear his eyes away from Jack; he could hardly believe he was there.

"Does this mean you're… we're…?"

"We are whatever you want us to be."

Jack smiled so widely he thought his face might crack.

Later that night, the light of the moon streaming in through the window bathing their bare skin in a blue wash, Jack was once again lying in Ennis's arms, "What made you change your mind?" His voice cut through the pensive silence like a knife and it took Ennis a long time to think about the question, his logic hindered by the things that he and Jack had just relived.

"Junior. She helped."

"Your daughter?"

"I don't know any other Junior." He smiled down at his lover and gave him a soft squeeze, "She came here. About a month after you left me the note. I think I'd been drunk for about a week straight, and she came and she asked me if I was okay. And she knew about us. She told me that I needed to fix things, and I realized that you really are the only person I could ever… well… y'know."

"Ever what, Ennis?" Jack smirked, "I don't think you've ever said it."

"But you know how I feel."

"Isn't it about time you tell me though?" Jack gripped Ennis's hands tightly in his own, "It'd be nice to hear it."

"Jack…"

Jack laughed, the sound like music to Ennis's ears, "Alright, cowboy. Don't panic."

Ennis grew tired and they fell asleep entwined in one another and Jack awoke the next morning and they hadn't moved, Ennis's hands still gripped his own just as hard as they had when they went to sleep. He twisted to look at the other man's face, his sleeping face, and thought to himself that Ennis was the closest he'd ever come to perfection. It made him so thankful that he'd gotten that letter yesterday. He'd tried to think about a world without Ennis Del Mar in the weeks after he'd left for what was supposed to have been the last time, tried to make himself okay with it, but it had been near on impossible. Every time something significant had happened to him, or he'd remembered something funny, he wanted to pick up the phone and call him. He'd wake up from a deep sleep in the middle of the night, fresh out of a dream dominated by Ennis, his hand having found its way to his crotch and he'd bury his face in his pillow and cry, trying desperately not to wake Lureen, and wake up the next morning with a hell of a headache and eyes that looked like he'd been on the whiskey the night before.

A life without Ennis was one that he didn't want to think about and with a sigh he realized both that his eyes had began to tear and that Ennis was stirring. The taller man mumbled and he opened one eye, looking down his nose at Jack, a grin tugging at the corners of his mouth, "Mornin' little darlin'." He said, his voice thick with the morning.

"You ain't called me that'n years, En." Jack smiled back at him, "I sure missed that."

Ennis hummed and shifted his weight, "What were you thinkin' about just now?"

"When?"

"You been starin' at me for a long while, I could feel it."

He shifted closer, "Just thinkin' how lucky I am that you stopped bein' such an ass and wrote me that letter." Ennis raised an eyebrow and let out a huff, and Jack grinned, "Okay, to tell you the truth an' all," He was suddenly serious, "I was thinkin' about how all that time after I left, I tried to imagine my life without you because I was so angry at you, Ennis. But I couldn't do it no matter how hard I tried."

Jack's words cut Ennis and he felt his heart lurch in his chest, "I'm sorry, Jack."

The smaller man shrugged, "I ain't gonna tell you it's okay, on account of it's not. But we'll fix it." Ennis nodded and jack rolled over so that he was laying on top of him and pressed their lips together, and he felt Ennis's hands on the bare skin of his back. When they broke apart, he let out a long breath, "I still don't wanna believe all this in case I'm dreamin'."

_Authors Note: I didn't intend for this to be quite so lovey romantic, but I was watching the film while I was writing it and bawling at the end, so I needed some fluffiness to make it better. _


	4. Jack's Courage

Not even the rattling of the car and the drawling country song on the radio could drown out the sound of the silence between them. The long stretch in front of them just didn't seem long enough to Jack. They were on their way back to Texas to see Lureen. Jack had told Ennis that he could stay in Wyoming at the trailer and he'd be back in a few days once everything was sorted, but Ennis had insisted on being there to support Jack, "I ain't leavin' you to deal with that on your own, if Lureen's anythin' like you been tellin' me."

So it came to be that they were driving down a long, straight stretch of road that seemed to Ennis like it went on forever, "Are you nervous?" He mumbled, suddenly feeling bad for Lureen.

"'Course I'm nervous, Ennis." Jack took his eyes off the road and glanced at him, "But I'm not gonna lie to you, I'm sure glad to have you along for the drive."

"I bet you'll be glad'a my company when you have to face her, too."

"And Bobby." Jack sighed, "Bobby's gonna be so mad at me."

Ennis looked at his wristwatch, "Isn't his presentation thing tomorrow night?"

Jack nodded, "I figured we'd go back today so I could go to it like I promised. I'll get us a hotel room and we can stay there."

Ennis shook his head, "Even if you sleep on the couch, you should be at your house." He placed his hand firmly on Jack's thigh, "So that you can be there for Bobby. He's gonna have some questions, I'm sure." He looked out the window at the barren land around them, "I'll stay in the hotel."

With a pained expression, Jack nodded slowly, "I guess you're right. Maybe tonight though I'll stay with you."

"We're gonna have to stop for the night before we get there anyway, Jack. If you're gonna go to the presentation tomorrow night you'll need some sleep."

"We're close now, it's not worth it."

"Not as close as you think." Ennis checked his watch again, "It's 9 'o' clock and we just passed Boulder. Childress is still another 9 hours away."

"Alright, you win. We'll stop next town over."

Ennis nodded and neither of them spoke for a long time.

When Ennis did speak, it was to say three words that Jack didn't think he'd ever hear from his lover. Ennis said it so quietly and so quickly that Jack wanted to ask him to repeat himself just to be sure. The words were gone before Jack could process them but they definitely happened, "I love you." Ennis stared expectantly at jack, as if he was yearning for gratification, for approval.

Jack's throat tightened with emotion and he could barely choke out his reply, "I love you, Cowboy, so goddamn much."

The smile on Ennis's face could have outshone the sun.

XxxxxxxxxxxxxxxX

"D'ya think the receptionist noticed we got one room with two beds?" Jack worried as they unlocked the door. Ennis's insecurities had almost begun to rub off on Jack over the years.

"Nope." Ennis had been trying to reassure him in the car that no-one was going to notice and even if they did, they could just be trying to save their money.

"You sure?"

"Nope." Ennis grinned, "But I come too far from where I was to care too much."

Jack nodded and threw Ennis's bag down on the floor and looked around the room. They'd stopped in a roadside motel in Lamar, Colorado. The room was dark and dank looking and smelled mildly of mold but it was the only motel in town, and Jack couldn't drive another mile, and it was only one night. It also reminded Ennis of the hotels they'd used when they were first sneaking around, "I'm beat." He said, lowering himself down on the bed and letting out a long groan, "And my back is hurtin' real bad from drivin' all day."

Ennis sat on the edge of the bed next to Jack, "Take off your shirt."

"Not now, En. I'm tired and sore."

Ennis pursed his lips, "Take off your fuckin' shirt."

Despite his confusion, Jack did so. He handed it to Ennis who took it tightly with both hands and raised it to his face, breathing in Jack's smell. He held it at his face for the longest time, and when he was done, he folded the shirt carefully and placed it beside him on the bed.

Jack's quizzical stare had been replaced with a sweet smile, "You surprise me sometimes, Ennis Del Mar." Ennis grinned his lopsided grin and put his hand on Jack's bare shoulder, his skin warm beneath his hand, and pushed him gently down onto his stomach, "What're you doing?"

Ennis began to massage Jack's back, his fingers digging into places Jack didn't even know needed massaging. He let out a long, blissful sigh and shut his eyes, enjoying the other man's touch. He squirmed and chuckled softly to himself when Ennis's hands inched too close to his ribs, "Stop that." He looked back at Ennis, who had a mischievous twinkle in his eye that Jack had missed terribly.

"You're ticklish?" He smiled, "How'd I miss that about you?"

Jack sighed, "The last person who tickled me got my fist in his face." He yawned.

Ennis continued his massage, and soon enough, Jack was asleep. Ennis fetched a blanket out of the closet in the hotel room and put it over Jack's sleeping form, tucking him in and pressing a soft kiss to his temple and then got under the blanket with him, curling his body around Jack's and holding him close.

XxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxX

Jack fumbled with his keys and they dropped to the ground. Ennis bent down to collect them and pressed them gently into the other man's hand, "Relax." He muttered, placing a comforting hand on his shoulder.

"I can't." He replied, "This is huge."

"I know."

He managed to open the door and Ennis followed him inside the spacious living room, "Nice place." He mumbled.

"Yeah, thanks." He sighed, there were no sounds coming from anywhere in the house and he was unspeakably relieved, "Lureen mustn't be home."

"Maybe I'll wait in the car." Ennis shifted his weight nervously and shuffled his feet.

"Ennis Del Mar, if you leave me in this house by myself, I swear to God I'll take back everything I ever said stay here and be miserable with Lureen."

Ennis let out a snort, "You wouldn't."

Jack's face dropped and his eyes pleaded with him, "Please, I need you with me to do this."

Ennis nodded once and hummed. They sat down on the sofa, both men took off their hats and Jack leant his head on Ennis's shoulder. The blonde man lay his hat on the sofa next to him and covered Jack's hand on his leg with his own. Jack sighed. He knew Lureen would have to be home soon if she was going to get Bobby back to school on time. As if on cue, he heard keys in the door. He stood and tried to steel himself. His wife came through the door looking perfect as ever, her blonde hair in a high bun on top of her head with some curls framing her face. Her blouse was immaculately pressed and her shoes shined. She was struggling with a large bag of groceries. Ennis stepped forward like a gentleman to help her but Jack put out his arm to stop him, "Bobby," He said to the teenager standing behind his mother, "Take those bags off your mama and put away the groceries."

"But Daddy, I wanted to watch some television before I have to go out again."

"Bobby…" Lureen's tone was threatening and so Bobby took the bag with a huff and as the three adults took their seats in the lounge, they could hear the slamming of cupboards and of food on counters, "Who is this?" Lureen said, narrowing her eyes at Ennis as if she already knew what was going to happen. Ennis averted his eyes and looked down at his scuffed, dirty old boots next to Jack's neatly shined ones. He and Lureen matched and he felt so out of place.

"Ennis. You know, my fishin' buddy."

"Ma'am." Ennis didn't look up.

Lureen sighed, "So why is Ennis Del Mar on the couch with my husband. Do y'all need money or somethin', 'cause you know I'd have to ask daddy before I could give you any cash."

"We don't need money." Jack said, "Lureen, neither of us are happy in this marriage."

"I'm plenty happy, Jack." Ennis could hear just from the sound of her voice that she was beginning to panic.

"Plenty happy ain't good enough for me." He said quietly, looking up at her through his long eyelashes, "We could have our marriage over the phone."

"It's not down to me if you won't touch me." She said.

"Lureen, every time I try you make up some excuse for why you don't want me to touch you. Oh, I have a headache, I have PMS…" He fiddled with the brim of his hat, "You know as well as I do that this is headed nowhere fast."

Her shoulders drooped, "And why did Ennis have to be here for you to tell me this?" She asked, her voice quiet and both men knew that she already knew, "Are you two…" She trailed off.

Jack nodded slowly, "Yeah."

She stood up and began to pace the living room, "Wow. Just… Wow. I shoulda known, right? This was all so obvious."

"I'm sorry Lureen."

She turned to him, her eyes suddenly hard and cold, "Get out." She was trying not to cry but Ennis could see the tears in her eyes.

"Now hold on a minute." He said, deciding to intervene, "None'a this's Jack's fault."

"So it's yours?" She glared at him and Jack glanced sideways at the taller man, his heart swelling with gratitude that he would step in and try to help him.

"It's neither. Jack'n me… We got a thing that don't got reins. It's been outta control. Now we're tryin' to stop havin' the people we care about involved," He took a breath to consider what he was saying, "I don't have anyone that this was hurtin' anymore and my Alma, she knows, and we hurt her and I'm awful sorry for that. So now we're doin' this we hadda tell you, Lureen." He looked down at his feet, "I sure am sorry."

Lureen dropped back down into her chair, "How long has this been goin' on for?"

"We met up on Brokeback in 1963." Jack said quietly.

Lureen let out a breath; "You've been with him longer than you've been with me." A tear snaked its way down her porcelain skin, and Jack slowly walked over to her and perched himself on the arm of the chair.

"I'm so sorry."

She looked up at him, into his eyes, "Me too, Jack."

Ennis stayed until Jack and Lureen had to leave to go to Bobby's presentation and then he took Jack's truck and drove it back to the hotel. He felt sorry for Jack; He and Lureen had talked and were at a point where they could be civil to each other at least until they parted ways again. They'd agreed that when Ennis and Jack were set up in a house (something Ennis was worried would never happen) that Bobby would come up once a month for a weekend to visit. Jack had tried to fight for more, but Lureen had been worried about him being in an environment with "queers". She'd spat the word out like it tasted nasty in her mouth and he noticed that every time she said it, Jack's shoulders dropped further and further. He'd just wanted to take him into his arms and protect him.

He contemplated his feelings towards Jack. He felt protective to the extent he'd only ever felt towards his daughters. He thought that if anyone every tried to hurt him, he'd kill them. He knew that the other man didn't need as much protecting as Ennis wanted to give him; Jack appeared soft on the outside but on the inside, he was tougher than he looked. Funny, Ennis thought, it was the other way around with him.

Ennis fell asleep to the light of the black and white television and didn't wake up until Jack was curled up next to him, already asleep.


	5. Changes

_Authors Note: I'm so sorry it's been so long between updates. I got a new job and life kind of got in the way of my writing. I'll be uploading a fair few chapters hopefully over the next hour or so, and if not that soon, then in the next few days. They've been written for weeks, I just haven't been able to update. _

Jack awoke to the smell of coffee and groaned, he'd gotten home late, Bobby's presentation had run long overtime with way too many music performances by other people's untalented children, but Lureen had insisted he stay, even when he'd contemplated taking a cab back to the house, and they'd told the teenager about the situation which had taken a long time. Bobby had almost cried, but he understood as much as Lureen had allowed Jack to tell him. He'd tried to say that he'd stay at their place for the night in case Bobby had any questions but she'd kicked him out at 3AM after they'd talked for a while. He'd walked back to the hotel, not wanting to call the taxi company, and he'd wanted the fresh air. He felt like a weight had been lifted off his chest and he wanted to enjoy that.

He'd let himself into the hotel room and found Ennis sprawled out on the bed, snoring. With a laugh, he'd curled himself around Ennis and gone to sleep.

Upon hearing Jack stirring, the cowboy turned around, "Mornin' darlin'." He said, holding out a mug to him.

"This is why I love you." Jack mumbled, "You make me coffee before I'm even awake to drink it."

Ennis grinned, "Actually, I made this'n for me, but you can have it." His brow furrowed, "You look like you need it. Y'alright?"

Jack nodded and took the mug from Ennis, "Got home late last night."

"Thought you were stayin' there."

Jack nodded, "So did I, but Lureen kicked me out." He took a sip and swallowed, wincing at the heat, "Said she didn't want Bobby around a queer anymore'n he had to be." He rolled his eyes, "Guess she didn't think about the fact that he's been around one since the day he was born."

"And he's gonna have to learn to deal with it when he comes to stay with us anyway."

Jack grinned, "I thought you weren't queer."

Ennis shrugged, "I don't know what I am." Jack grinned, "But, I guess if it means bein' with you, I'm okay with whatever I am."

"What about what your daddy told you?"

"My daddy didn't know what he was talkin' about."

There was a long silence because Jack didn't know what to say, and Ennis just didn't see the need for any more talking. Both men looked at each other for the longest time, their eyes connected and neither felt like they could look away, until Jack did, and staring down into his coffee cup said, "I'm so proud'a you, Ennis."

Ennis looked down at his feet and shifted his weight, "I don't deserve none of your pride."

Jack rolled his eyes, "Well, it's mine to give." Ennis hummed, "You did somethin' that I deep down never thought you'd do."

"I never thought so neither."

Jack smiled widely, "Ol' Brokeback got us real good, don't it?"

"I reckon so."

There was silence again. Other guests were beginning to emerge from their rooms after breakfast and the sound of car doors and conversation could be heard from the open window. The motel was on a main road, and the sound of trucks roared past, the sound of their engine nothing but a low rumble.

"So what do we do now?" Ennis said, "We got no money. Are we gonna live in my trailer?" The image of them old and wrinkled sitting in lawn chairs in the dusty trailer park made him chuckle.

"I got some." Jack set down his mug on the side table and and threw off the blanket, standing up. Ennis stepped forward and took Jack into his arms, the other man's skin was warm, even through his own cotton shirt, "I've been savin' for years now."

Ennis furrowed his brow and pressed his face into Jack's hair, "What for?"

"Rainy day, I guess." His arms found their way around Ennis's waist and he rest his head his shoulder, "This rainy day seems as good as any."

"How much you got?"

Jack shrugged, "Hundred grand, at least."

Ennis let out a low whistle, "You'll wanna keep that safe."

"It's in the bank. Thought we might buy a house with it."

Ennis stiffened, "A house?"

"Maybe a ranch?" Jack sighed, sensing Ennis's panic, "When you're ready, o' course."

The other man relaxed slightly, "Thank you, Jack."

They were back on the road by midday, having called Lureen from the hotel to let her know where Jack was staying. She'd snorted and rolled her eyes, "Fine." Jack was driving again, and Ennis was whittling a yet another horse.

"You better clean up those shavings when we get back to Wyoming." Jack said with a warning tone in his voice.

"Are you my mother, Jack Twist?" Ennis winked and grinned.

"No, but this is my goddamn car." Jack replied, "And I like my car to be clean."

"You're gonna hate livin' in Wyoming then. There's more dust'n anythin' else."

Jack shrugged, "It'll be worth it."


	6. A House For Jack

The next few weeks passed in a daze for Jack. He had everything he'd wanted for the past twenty years, and he couldn't be happier. He and Ennis spent every minute they could together. Ennis went to work in the morning, while he was gone, Jack would do odd jobs around town and look through newspapers for places for sale. When Ennis got home, they'd cook and eat dinner, and spend the rest of the night in bed together, either talking and enjoying each other, or in a passionate embrace by the light of the television. They'd fall asleep entangled in each other, and wake up the same way, Ennis would leave for work, and the cycle started over.

One morning, just after Ennis had left, Jack was sitting on the bed cross-legged with the newspaper in front of him, a pen in one hand and a mug of coffee, half cold, in the other. He was scanning the sales for any properties for sale, and one caught his eye. It was newly advertised; it hadn't been in yesterday's paper. There were a few photographs but he wasn't satisfied. "Newly subdivided property, Brokeback flat, for sale, with farmhouse. Needs work. 1000 acres. Just outside of Cody, WY. Call for enquiries." Jack's heart began to beat faster. He had been talking to Ennis and he thought he was almost ready, and maybe it would only take the right place to sway him.

He picked up the phone and dialed the number underneath the advertisement.

"Hello?" A soft female voice answered, "Maggie speaking."

"Uh, good morning," Jack said, picking up the paper, "I'm just looking at your advertisement in today's newspaper for the uh… property in Cody?"

"Ah yes," She sounded elderly, and Jack had to strain to hear her, especially with the unstable telephone line and it was hard to understand her accent, one he definitely didn't recognize, but knew wasn't like his, "Are you interested?"

"I may be."

"Would you like to come and look at the place? I can make sure the gates are unlocked for you."

"Oh no, ma'am. Not today. I need to make sure my business partner can come up with me."

"Oh, the people who own the neighboring property can unlock the gates at any time for you.

He tried to remember Ennis's schedule, "Is Saturday alright, Ma'am?"

"Saturday is brilliant." She sounded like she was smiling, "And if you have any questions, you give me a call, okay?"

"Thank you kindly, ma'am." He hung up the phone and realized that there were butterflies in his stomach.

XxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxX

Ennis cradled Jack protectively against his chest, his arms tight around the other man's chest. Jack reached behind him to run a hand through Ennis's hair, "We oughta do something tomorrow." Jack murmured, "It's the weekend, we never do anything."

Ennis hummed, "What do you wanna do?"

"We could go for a drive."

"Where?"

"We could head north." Jack had never been good at hiding things but he felt he wasn't doing too badly; Ennis didn't suspect at all, "Just see where the road takes us."

"If that's what you wanna do."

Jack rolled over so that he was face to face with Ennis, "It is." He pressed a kiss to his lips and felt Ennis's hands on either side of his neck. The other man kissed him fiercely and Jack let out a heavy breath through his nose. Ennis flipped them over so he was on top and pressed himself into him, running his hands down his body, causing the slighter man to shudder, "Ennis…" Jack mumbled, nuzzling into his neck.

"Mmm?"

Jack paused to catch his breath and shifted, "Love you."

Ennis smiled, "You too, darlin'." He kissed him again, this time more gently, his thumb brushed his jaw and Jack melted.

XxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxX

As they drew closer to the town of Cody, Jack grew more and more nervous. He gripped the steering wheel so hard that his knuckles turned white and Ennis kept glancing sideways at him, "Uh… you alright?" He'd ask every once in a while and Jack would nod.

He so desperately wanted the property to be what he'd dreamed of his whole life. He'd seen a sign for Cody and he hoped that this place would become his home. He wanted Ennis to be able to write to his girls and tell them all about his home, be able to invite them to visit, and for them to be able to stay. He wanted to be able to have Bobby come and stay and be comfortable. He had to grin at the thought of Ennis's girls, Bobby and the two of them all piled into Ennis's trailer.

He had no idea what the farmhouse was like, how big it would be, how much work would be needed. Secretly he hoped that it needed a complete rebuild, but it would be much easier if it just needed a coat of paint and some small repairs and for them to be able to move in right away.

He knew the property was a little before the town itself and he was on the watch for the name of the road, "Ennis, there's something I've not told you." He glanced at him, and Ennis was grinning slightly.

"I figured there was something." He replied with a small shrug, "You were acting like more of a lunatic than usual."

"Well, I guess I better come clean." He gripped the steering wheel, "The reason we're in Cody is to look at a house that I saw advertised in the newspaper on Wednesday."

"A house?"

Jack nodded, "There's no pressure. I just thought it would be nice to start lookin'. I know next to nothin' about this place, but it's cheap, well within our budget."

"Is there someone meetin' us there?"

Jack nodded again.

"Do they know…"

"No. I told her we were business partners." The relief on his face when Jack glanced at him again, "What did you expect, Ennis? I was gonna call her and say 'me and my boyfriend wanna buy your house'?" He sighed, "You're gonna have to stop being so goddamn paranoid, Ennis." He violently turned the car into a dirt road.

"I'm sorry, Jack. I already explained to you though why I'm so worried about this."

"I know." Jack grumbled, "I'm turning back, don't worry."

"Now, wait a minute." Ennis shrugged, "We're almost there anyway, ain't we?"

"Yep, we've wasted two hours."

"Keep drivin', Jack."

Jack's eyes lit up, "You mean it?"

He nodded, "Might as well check it out. We're gonna need to get a place eventually." He pondered, "Can't keep livin' in my goddamn trailer for the rest of our lives, can we?"

The significance of Ennis's statement didn't go over his head. He liked the way 'the rest of their lives' sounded, but he'd never known whether the other man felt the same way. It wasn't that he didn't think Ennis loved him (even though getting him to say it was more difficult than he liked to admit), it was that he didn't know whether their relationship had the drive to last for the rest of their lives. He'd always hoped it did, but it was only the last few years that he'd thought that it might just be able to work, "I guess not." Jack's smile was from one ear to the other.

It wasn't long until Jack pulled over to the side of the road just out front of a gate. There was a tin letterbox with the number 92 on it and on the gate, a sign on one of the fence posts read, "Brokeback Flat."

"Brokeback Flat?" Ennis grinned and his eyes twinkled, "Just about fate, isn't it?"

Jack shrugged and put on his hat. He checked the gate and it was open so he pushed it open and stepped inside. The house was located down a winding driveway, surrounded by tall trees. From where he stood, the house didn't look as bad as he'd expected. It was painted a faded yellow, and even from a ways back, he could tell it was peeling. It was two stories, and a verandah all the way around the front and sides. There were already some fences up, but he could already tell that if Ennis liked the place and they bought it, the fences were going to need some work. He turned around and looked at Ennis who was just shutting the gates. When he turned around, Jack smiled at him and took off at a run towards the house.

"Jack!" Ennis yelled after him, "Get your ass back here!" Ennis didn't catch up with him until he was stepping up onto the porch, which was creaking dangerously under his weight, "Is it safe?"

"How should I know?" He replied, opening the front door. There was a small entranceway with two doors, one into the kitchen and dining room, off which there was a small bathroom and laundry and the other into a small living room. It had a fireplace and the stairs were at the back of the room, where there was also a door into the main bedroom. Jack went into the kitchen and Ennis took the other door. It was a generous room, enough space for a large table and even Jack's bar which was still at Lureen's house. The kitchen was old, but workable. He could buy some used appliances and repair them so they were like new. The floors were old polished hardwood, and most of the polish was gone. On the walls was faded old lime green wallpaper that he knew would have to go at Ennis's insistence.

He moved through to the laundry, which was just a small, grey tiled room off which was a bathroom with a toilet, a sink and a shower. The bathroom had another door, which he took, and found that it led into the bedroom. Ennis was standing in front of the window, looking out at the endless plains and the hills in the distance. Jack could tell he was lost in his thoughts, and he watched him closely. His brown eyes reflected the sunlight making them glow amber. Jack walked up behind him and wrapped his arms around the taller man and rested his head on his shoulder, "What're you thinkin' about, Cowboy?"

Ennis didn't answer right away, but he reached around and gripped Jack's shirt at his waist tightly and his other hand rested on Jack's. He sighed, "Just thinkin'… I guess I'm thinkin' about my life. I never saw things turnin' out this way, y'know?"

Jack hummed, "Yeah, I know."

"It's just takin' me a while to get used to this."

"I know."

They stood together for a while and Jack swayed then gently until Ennis sighed again, "I think we should."

"Should what?"

"I reckon it's about time we have a house of our own."

Jack beamed, "I'm so glad you think so." He let go of Ennis and turned him around to hug him tightly.

When he pulled away, Ennis took his face in his large hands and kissed his lips softly, "What do you think of this place?"

Jack smiled, "I like it so far."

"Me too."

They broke apart again and Jack examined the bedroom. The window that looked out over the property was huge, and it let a lot of light into the spacious room. The wallpaper was blue, and Jack loved it. He moved out into the living room. It was smaller compared to the other rooms and the fireplace took up most of the space but there would be plenty of room for everything they needed. The staircase was at the back of the room, right next to where he was standing, and he began up it. There was a small landing at the top, and the doors to two generously sized bedrooms, and also another larger bathroom with a bathtub.

He and Ennis met up again in the kitchen a few minutes later. Ennis had a grin on his face and Jack had a feeling that meant he liked the place, "D'you wanna go for a walk?" Ennis said, gesturing at the door, "There's still the stables to see, and some stuff at the back of the land."

Jack nodded, "Sure."


	7. Letters

Jack and Ennis sat in the car in silence, but it was a comfortable one. Both of them were considering the house and the property that they'd just seen. Jack was beaming inside, and he was sure his smile occasionally showed on his face as he drove. The house was everything that they needed. It had enough space for them to have a reasonable sized ranch. Some horses, some sheep, maybe a few cows. They'd breed their stock, they'd train horses, maybe they'd even have their own vegetable garden. Ennis was decent with animals, and he was decent with his hands in the garden. They could get a couple of dogs, maybe a cat. He'd had those kinds of dreams for years, since before he even married Lureen and it felt like they were all coming true, all at once, and sometimes it felt like it was too good to be true. He glanced at Ennis who was picking at his thumb nail and smiled. The past while with Ennis had been everything he'd hoped it would be and he really didn't regret leaving his wife. He missed his son, of course, but he'd spoken to Bobby on the phone as often as he could.

"You oughta call Junior or Jenny when we get back, En." Jack said, looking back to the road, "You ain't called either of them since I've been with you."

"I ain't called neither of them in a long time." He replied, glancing over at Jack awkwardly, "We communicate by letters."

He nodded. It figured. Ennis didn't like any kind of technology, "Well, when was the last time you wrote to your girls?"

"Before you came back." Ennis considered and then nodded, "Yup, because she told me not to write to her until I'd fixed things with you."

"I'mma write to her." Jack said, nodding as well.

"Why?"

"Because I guess I'm her step-daddy, aren't I?" He laughed, "Yeah, I like the sound of that." Ennis stiffened in his seat and Jack laughed heartily, "Calm down, friend." He paused and stared at the long, straight road ahead of him, "Seriously, though."

"You wanna write to my girls?"

"I think it'd be nice." He replied, "I think that they might appreciate it."

It took Ennis a minute to process things. He knew that Junior knew about him and Jack and he thought that she actually might like to hear from Jack. He didn't know how much Jenny knew if she knew at all. He wasn't sure how much he wanted his girls to know, but he also knew that they'd need to know everything sooner or later if they were going to come and visit. He knew Jack wouldn't go for the idea of separate bedrooms, or even having one bedroom and a room that looked like it could be Ennis's. He thought that Jack might also be better at breaking the news than Ennis would be, "Alright."

"What?" Jack had not expected that answer in the least. He'd expected Ennis to say no. Just a flat out, straight no, "Really?"

"Yeah, I figure they're going to need to know everythin', anyways, right?"

"Right…"

"And I figure you're gonna be better at breakin' it to them than I would be."

"Junior already knows though. It's just Jenny that it might be news to." Jack's brow furrowed, "But I'd like to contact them."

Ennis shrugged, "Go for it."

Jack spent the rest of the drive home composing the letters in his head. He thought about it so much that when they arrived back at the trailer, all he had to do was write them down. Turning off the car's ignition, he got out and just about skipped to the door, "Where do you keep your writin' paper, Cowboy?"

"Uh, maybe in my closet." He said, his hands finding Jack's waist as they entered the trailer. Jack turned around in Ennis's grip and kissed him quickly on the lips, and Ennis hummed, "Can you put off your letter writing for a while?"

Jack whined, "But I might forget what I wanna write."

Smiling, Ennis kissed him again, lingering longer, his hands moving from Jack's waist to wrap around his body, enveloping him in the warmth of his body. The smaller man hummed against his mouth and his fists balled around clumps of Ennis's shirt, who pulled away slightly and looked down into Jack's eyes, "Convincing you?"

"Mhmm." Jack pushed Ennis back onto their bed, "The letters can wait."

XxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxX

_Dear Jenny,_

Jack put down his pen and massaged his temples, finally realizing what a huge task he'd taken on in deciding to write to Ennis's girls. He was so used to dealing with Bobby that he wasn't quite sure how to communicate with teenage girls. He didn't want to upset them at all. He scratched at the skin of his bare chest and glanced over his shoulder to Ennis who was still tangled in the sheets, naked, snoring gently, the sun through the window casting bright yellow light on his mildly tanned shoulders and back. He longed to be back in bed with the other man, to curl himself around his warm body and sleep with him, but he knew that the letters could be an important part of his future relationship with the girls, and therefore with Ennis. He bit his lip and picked up the pen again.

_I know I'm probably the last person you're expecting to hear from. Or maybe you are expecting this, or to hear from your father. I'm not sure how much you know, or how much your mother has told you. Your father and I have moved in together after a long relationship. I don't know how else to put it for you._

He put his pen down again and sighed heavily. He'd made the decision that he wasn't going to mince words. He didn't want to make it sound like something it wasn't. She was old enough and mature enough (he hoped) to handle the knowledge that he and her father were in a relationship.

_I wanted to tell you so that you know, and to extend my hand to you. If there's anything I can do for you, anything I can help you with, please let me be a part of your life. Also, if you have any questions, I hope you'll ask them, I want you girls to trust me, and for us to be friends._

_Sincerely,_

He put down the pen and then picked it up again, vigorously scribbling out the last word, replacing it simply with, _Jack_.

He breathed a sigh of relief and sealed the paper inside an envelope, scrawling her name on the front and placing it aside.

He picked the pen pack up and took out a new piece of paper. He knew that Alma Jr. was a bit older than Jenny was, and she was a very mature young lady. He knew that it had been down to her that Ennis had written to Jack, which made him come back. He owed that to Junior. He wanted to see her, and when he did, he thought he might give her the biggest hug she'd ever experienced, even though he already knew she wasn't a hugger, based on what Ennis had told him.

_Dear Alma Jr.,_

_I know that you came to visit your Daddy not long ago and that you found him in a bad way because he thought he'd blown things with me, and he had. I just need to thank you for making him write to me. We are currently living together in his trailer, and I think we're thinking about buying a house (please don't mention that to your daddy that I told you, I think he's still a bit scared) and that's all because of you. Thank you so much, Junior._

_I wrote a similar letter to Jenny to let her know what's going on, since Ennis is very bad at sensitive information, and I want to say to you the same thing I said to her. I want you to know that if there's anything you need, or anything I can do for you, our door is always open. I want to be your friend._

_Jack._

Jack sealed the envelope, like he had with the previous one, scrawled her name on the front, but before he set that one aside, he pressed a kiss to the paper next to her name. He owed Alma Jr. his happiness.


	8. The Girls

_I know it's been a while since I uploaded a chapter, and I know I said I'd upload a few but things got weird again, so I hope now I can upload some more :D I'm hoping it gets more interesting and action packed within the next few chapters :D Also, I'm now aware that was deleting my dividers between sections of chapters, so it might have looked a bit iffy and been a bit hard to follow. I'm going to go through at some point and fix them up because now I know it's wrong, it's going to annoy me. Anyways, if you enjoy, review please, I love reading what people think of my fics! If you don't, also review to tell me how much it sucks and how I can make it suck less. Enjoy! :)_

Jack curled himself around Ennis's sleeping form, pressing his chest up close against the larger man's back. He was warm, his skin smooth and comforting to Jack whose stomach was clenching with nerves about the letters he'd just posted. When he'd gotten back from the store, Ennis had still been asleep and Jack couldn't resist crawling back into bed with him.

He laid with Ennis, not sleeping, too nervous to sleep, but looking around the trailer. It was small, but they were making it work, and he thought to himself that if neither of them had children, he could probably handle living in there for a whole lot longer, especially if he had Ennis with him always.

The other man stirred and Jack reached up a hand to play with the little hairs that brushed the back of his neck. Ennis loved that, he'd loved it since the first time they'd been intimate with each other. As they'd laid together, about to fall asleep, Jack had played with those little hairs, and Ennis had hummed with contentment, "You can keep doin' that, Jack." He'd murmured in his drunken haze before drifting off to sleep. Jack smiled at the memory.

Memories of those times were bittersweet. He loved that he'd finally gotten Ennis to make some form of commitment, but it made him sad that it had taken so long to happen. They'd wasted so much time. He remembered a conversation they'd had once, up on Brokeback, sitting by the river, pretending to fish, but as usual, they'd ended up on the ground in the grass, their lips pressed together, their bodies moving together. Jack had pulled away, "Be with me, Ennis."

"No."

Jack made a frustrated noise deep in his throat, "Why?"

"Because we can't right now."

"Right now? When then, Ennis?"

"Maybe when we're old." Ennis had been so much more naïve than Jack had realized.

"What a waste of goddamn time." Jack had said, rolling off to the side and laying on his back in the long grass, his eyes trained on the clouds floating past above him so that he didn't cry.

"Waste of time? We can still meet like this Jack. In fact, I don't know what I'd do if we didn't. I'd probably be sent fucking crazy."

Jack rolled his eyes, "You are bad news, Ennis Del Mar."

"I just don't understand how we're wasting time."

"You don't?" Jack said quietly, dangerously quietly, "It's a waste of time because if we get together later, we're gonna have to start from the beginning much later. If we're together now, we can start from the beginning now. When we're old, we'll have a ranch together. An established one. I don't wanna be puttin' up fences and checkin' cattle when I'm old."

Jack smiled at the memory again, he knew it was sad that he'd had to wait so long but he was deliriously happy now that he finally had Ennis for himself and they were seriously considering buying a house.

As if on cue, Ennis began to wake up and Jack began to run his back, "Wake up, cowboy." Ennis rolled over to face Jack who smiled even wider at his sleepy eyes and messy hair, "How'd you sleep?"

Ennis groaned, "Fine, I guess." He sighed and kissed Jack softly, "I'm not gonna sleep tonight though, how long was I out?"

"About three hours."

"Sorry, Darlin'." He mumbled, "I musta been tired."

Jack shrugged and cuddled up close to him, "It's alright. I got some things done."

Ennis wrapped his arms around Jack and glanced down at him, "Tell me."

"I got those letters written and sent."

"They're sent already?"

"Yup." He nodded and pressed his face against Ennis's chest, "Alma and Jenny should have them in a few days."

Xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx xxxxxxxxX

Jack was cooking breakfast at the kitchenette and Ennis was sipping a mug of hot coffee, and they were discussing their potential new house when the knock came at the door.

The two men paused their talking and jack turned off the stove to listen and they heard scuffling outside, and muffled voices, "Jenny, we have to go. You can't just barge in."

Ennis cringed, "It's the girls." He stated the obvious but Jack didn't have the heart to make any smart-ass remark to him about it like he normally would have.

Jack opened the door and the two girls stumbled inside, Alma Jr. had a tight grip on Jenny's sweatshirt and Jenny was holding a fistful of Junior's hair, and they had obviously been fighting on their doorstep.

"Girls." Ennis greeted them.

"Daddy." They answered in unison, "Mr. Twist."

"Jack is fine." Jack replied, "Want some breakfast?"

"No sir, thank you." Junior answered, and let go of Jenny, who walked over to her father where he was sitting on their bed drinking his coffee and spoke to him in hushed tones. Junior stayed with Jack, "We got your letters." She said.

"Looks like they mighta done more harm'n they done good."

Alma shook her head, "No. Not at all."

"Jenny sure looks mad."

"She's confused more'n anythin'." Junior smiled at Jack, "She'd suspected somethin' like this for a good while but she could never pick exactly what it was." She watched the other two intently even though they were only sitting a few feet away and tried to listen to their conversation.

"Alma Jr.?"

"Oh please. Call me Junior."

Jack grinned and she noticed that his eyes twinkled when he did so and the wrinkles beside his eyes made him look joyful all the time, "Right, Junior. D'you want to come on a walk with me?"

Junior surveyed him carefully for a while, and then answered, "Sure." He held open the door for her and let her out into the dusty morning air. It was warm out. They began to walk side by side, around the perimeter of the trailer park. After a while, Jack stopped under a big tree in the shade and Junior stood a couple of feet away, "Don't say much, do you Junior?" He grinned his crooked grin and in that moment, she could tell just why her father liked Jack so much. His eyes twinkled in the sun and she couldn't help but let a small smile escape her.

"I don't say nothin' unless somethin' needs to be said." She replied, "I don't waste my words."

He chuckled, "I like that. Just like my Ennis."

She looked up at him from her shoes and cleared her throat.

"Our Ennis?" Jack questioned, not sure why she appeared to be upset all of a sudden.

She shook her head, "No. I'm just…" She stopped to think, not quite sure how to word what she wanted to say, "Jenny'n me are having trouble seein' exactly why it is you like our Daddy so much."

"Are you asking me why?"

She nodded.

He cleared his throat and picked at the bark on the tree behind his back, "I guess it's hard for you to see it, he's your father. But I see him differently."

"How?"

"Well, he's… Sensitive, he knows what to say to make everything better, but he also knows when to keep his goddamn mouth shut, usually."

"Why else?"

"Christ, Junior, I don't know." He was silent for a long time, looking down at his bare feet in the dirt, "I love him because he feels like home."

"Your home's in Texas."

"No, my home has always been where your Daddy is." He sighed, "Without freakin' you out or makin' you uncomfortable, I feel so safe in his arms, I can't imagine being with anyone else."

Junior stared at him as he kept staring at his feet, "Jenny'n me, we don't want him gettin' hurt. You don't know how he was when you left. He was so down."

"I know."

"No, you don't! You weren't there, that's why he was so down. He wouldn't eat and he would only drink alcohol. He wouldn't write us, he didn't come see us for weeks." She turned around away from him, "I like you. I like you a lot, but if you hurt him, Jack Twist, you'll have to deal with me." She walked off back towards his trailer and Jack smirked. He'd had no idea how protective his girls were of Ennis. He knew that if anyone tried to mess with the girls, Ennis would make their life hell. He hadn't realized that the sentiment was reciprocated.

Xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx xxxxxxxxX

Ennis waved and sighed, smiling as he opened the door to go back inside the trailer, "Well that was interesting." He said, chuckling.

"Did you know they were coming?" Jack rubbed his eyes, already exhausted. It was mid afternoon and Jenny and Alma Jr. had just left.

"I had no idea." Ennis pause and say down next to Jack on the bed, taking one of his hands in both of his and stared into his eyes, "I want to buy the house."

Jack's eyes widened, "You do?"

The other man nodded.

"Ennis!" He smiled widely, "We're gonna have a house!"


	9. Memory

_Author's note: Once again, I'm SO sorry about the huge delay in a new chapter, life got crazy again, but now I hope that things are getting better and less crazy so I'll be able to update some more. _

_I know that messed up some of my formatting in earlier chapters so I corrected those issues, and some other little plot issues that have been pointed out for me, so I hope that's all in order now, so yeah. Enjoy!_

_XxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxX_

Through bank appointments, realtor's appointments and meetings with accountants and lawyers, Jack and Ennis hardly had any time for each other. If Ennis was coming home, Jack was just leaving. Jack would wake up just as Ennis was heading out to work, and any time he had some time off, Jack was usually heading out to do some odd jobs around town for a little extra cash.

"Jack, this has gotta stop." Ennis said one afternoon as he was preparing to head out to a meeting with their bank, "I feel like I haven't seen you in a goddamn long time, not properly."

Jack nodded, "Yeah, I know." He shoved some papers roughly into a bag for his own meeting with his lawyer. He felt the same way, but he didn't quite see any way around it.

"What're you doin' tonight?"

"After this meetin', nothin', I don't think. I was plannin' to catch up on some sleep." He stopped what he was doing to survey the other man, "What were you thinkin'?"

Ennis hummed, "I dunno, I just miss you."

Jack's heart hurt when Ennis said things like that. Tender words were so few and far between with the other man, and he felt like he should savour every one, but the problem was that there was just no time, "Are you workin' tonight?"

Ennis shook his head, "I was thinkin' we could order takeout or somethin'. I'll be home before you, I'm thinkin', so I'll order somethin' and we can eat when you get back and go to bed early."

Jack knew exactly what was going through Ennis's mind, and with a smile, he nodded, "You know what I like," and swept from the house, reaching back through the door to take his hat off a hook by the door.

A flood of relief washed over him and he sat down on the bed. He hated being separated from Jack, he always had. It felt stupid now that he'd spent so many years missing him, and now that he didn't have to endure that, he preferred not to. He sighed as he heard the hum of the truck down the road taking Jack away.

His meeting didn't begin for another hour and it was with the local bank. He had plenty of time to spare, so he took out a box of photographs from under the bed. Jack didn't know about the photographs, and he didn't want him to at least until they'd moved. He took out the top photograph and saw that it was the one photo that he had of Jack, and he thought back to the last time he'd taken it out.

_Rain battered at the window and the wind howled outside. On nights like these, Ennis was always worried that the tree outside his house was going to drop a branch and destroy his home. Tonight though, he was completely oblivious. An almost empty bottle of whiskey lay on the floor beside the sofa that he was sprawled on, and the photo of Jack he held in his hands swam in front of his eyes. He stared into the clear blue eyes, his chest aching as he took in the stunning, genuine smile that shone on his face. The corners of his eyes crinkled and Ennis wished that he could remember exactly what had been being said when he snapped the photograph._

_In his drunken state, Ennis stood up, swaying, and made his way to his table, sitting down where the letter he'd been writing before the whiskey on the kitchen counter had caught his eye, was still on the table. He squinted, trying to read what he'd written before, but his terrible eyesight, his terrible handwriting and the alcohol made it extremely difficult to make out. Instead, he picked up the pen and scribbled it all out. In it's place, he wrote:_

'_Jack,_

_I don't know really what I'm writing here, or why I'm writing it but I am and I guess I'm going to regret this tomorrow morning when the whiskeys gone outa my system if I remember what I done but you need to know this._

_I know I been a son of a bitch with you and I do feel awful bad for it and I think that's why I'm writing this. I hope that when you get to it you'll get back to me and we can talk because I know you're mighty pissed off with me and I don't blame you at all for that, Jack. _

_I can't stop looking at this goddamn photo that I have of you and you look incredible and I know I do love you and I think you know that. Deep down you gotta know that because if I didn't I'd never be with you the way that I always am, and I wouldn't miss you the way I do all the time and I wouldn't even be writing this. I want to be with you but the truth is I'm scared. I know you're scared too but much less than me. I want to be able to start a ranch with you and I think that we should. I feel like its what was meant to be or something, I don't know to be honest with you, I'm drunk. But lets do it, Jack._

_Ennis.'_

_He put down the pen, stumbled down the road to the nearest post-box, addressed it as best he could, slapped a stamp on it, and sent it off. He managed to find his way home, and he awoke the next morning with the photo clutched in his hand, a headache splitting down his forhead, and a thousand regrets playing on his mind. _

Ennis felt his eyes begin to burn with tears. That hadn't been the best of times for him and he didn't often replay that time in his head. He had often felt resentful towards Jack because he'd never acknowledged the letter at all. But he also had a sneaking suspicion in the back of his head that the way he'd addressed the letter had confused the mail staff and it had never even made it to Jack at all.

A knock at the door roused him from his pondering and he got up to answer it, but there was nobody there, only a white sedan driving down the road faster than was safe. He looked down and saw a box addressed to Jack on the ground in front of the front step.

He picked it up, and set it down on the table, before taking his hat, putting it on his head, shoving the photograph in his pocket and heading out to his meeting.

XxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxX

Jack burst through the door carrying a stack of papers, waving them in front of him, "Divorce papers, Ennis!" He grinned, putting them down on the table, and seeing the box, "What's this?"

"Got dropped off for you just after you left." Ennis said, scooping rice out of a container into two bowls.

He purposefully kept his attention on the food as he heard Jack opening the box and then began to feel jolts of anxiety as he heard Jack's breathing quicken as he opened an envelope. Ennis watched him out of the corner of his eye as he sat and read a piece of paper, and his heart began to pound when he realized that he recognized that piece of paper.

"_But lets do it, Jack…" _Jack finished, reading the last sentence aloud, "Ennis…"

"Christ." He swore and sat down next to him, "I assumed that didn't get to you."

"How long ago?"

"Years, Jack."

"How many?" His voice was dangerously quiet.

"At least eight."

The letter fell from Jack's hands onto the floor and he buried them in his hair, "I coulda had you eight years earlier?"

"I dunno, Jack." He sighed and leaned back, "I was awful drunk that night. I didn't mention it to you because I couldn't even be sure that I'd actually sent it."

"Lureen kept it from me. This is a box of stuff of mine from the house. She kept so much from me."

"I'm sorry, Jack."

There was silence between them for a long time, and Ennis put his arm around Jack, holding him close and he felt the other man's body began to shake from crying. All he could do was hold him and be there for him.

When he had calmed down, they ate their takeout, cold, of course, and sat together in the light of the moon, on the bed, drinking whiskey. They talked about everything and nothing, the future, the past, and then Jack said, "What photo?"

"What're you talkin' about?" Ennis replied groggily.

"You mentioned a photo in that letter." Jack stared at him, blue eyes bearing into him, "I didn't know you had any pictures of me, cowboy."

"Only one, darlin'." He said, digging the photo out of his pocket and handing it to the other man, "Kept me goin' for a long time, I'll tell you."

Jack took it in his hands and smiled, "You're just a big softie, Del Mar."

"Only for you, Twist."

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_Author's Note: Oh boy, this was the single most difficult chapter I've written of this yet. It's been through so many different versions of this, versions of different things, so if it's a bit flat, I'm really sorry, hopefully it'll be back to normal by next chapter. Hope you guys enjoyed it, and please, if you did, and even if you didn't, let me know in a review, I love to know what y'all think! _


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